


Log date 7 15 2

by Raptarion



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 03:56:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5570092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raptarion/pseuds/Raptarion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sort of prediction for what will be the general feel of Peridot's log that Steven finds in the episode by the same name during Steven's birthday week.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Log date 7 15 2

”Log date, 7 15 2. I am reasonably certain by now that the crystal gems are not listening to these logs. Despite giving ample warning in these logs of an ultimately harmless trick I would pull on the Pearl that would not violate our truce agreement, she was not at all prepared for it. I even left this recorder unattended for long stretches of time to make sure. And while it is entirely possible that they simply pretended to have not listened in, and that this recorder is in fact compromised, I can not be any more reasonably sure than I am now.

For the first time in days, I feel I can speak freely.

I hate being here. I’ve already complained about everything on this planet enough in this log. But that is not the reason I hate it here. I’m homesick. I miss homeworld. I miss my job. I miss my routine. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about it. That I don’t fantasize about my familiar workspace. About being safe. Not having to worry for my life. I-”

There’s a brief gasp. The sound of background noise takes over for a few seconds. Her voice near the end had become a little hoarse. It almost sounded like she was holding back tears.

“Continuing my last log. I was interrupted by Amethyst. For a moment it almost felt like home. I was back to recording a personal log while sneaking a break, and my supervisor was catching me slacking off. I was even struggling to hold back tears just like back then. I don’t think she noticed. Of course Amethyst isn’t my supervisor. The crystal gems have seemingly no hierarchy. Yet the permafusion is still somehow their leader. This was so confusing to me at first. But I’ve almost begun to understand it. I’ve begun understanding a lot about the crystal gems. About earth. Steven has been especially eager to teach me. He takes far more joy in showing me things about earth than I’ve ever seen anyone else manage to muster. But not just that. He finds joy in almost everything he does. He loves this planet, and the other gems. He loves them all so much, and it’s almost infectious.

He and the gems are making this so difficult. The harder they try to help me, and show me the ways of earth, the harder it’s going to be when homeworld shows up... I sound less certain of that than I thought I would... every day I’m stuck here, I am less and less sure they’re coming. And the more I think they’ve abandoned me, and the more I accept earth, the worse I feel. Because I am a homeworld gem. That will never change. I know no matter how long it takes, when homeworld comes back, I know what side I’ll be on. I will never stop hoping that day will come. But I almost dread that day too. Because Steven and the others... every day they feel more like, ‘friends.’ I understand that word more every day too. I know that it means I don’t want to hurt them. I don’t want to betray them. But I’ll have to.

...I guess I’ll need to record over this log if I ever turn it into homeworld. Just like how I hid my personal logs back then... but it feels nice to finally say all of this... I can’t thank Steven enough for this recorder, and everything he’s done... I hope he understands when it happens... end log date.”

Steven presses stop on the recorder. He lays down, looking up to the ceiling. He feels tears spilling out of his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> So my headcannon is that Peridot cries regularly. When things get stressful she'll sneak off to record a personal log and just let all her emotions out at once. It's her way of venting.


End file.
